Letting go.

Yesterday, I had trouble concentrating. Oh, I worked on cleaning the garage. Cleaned and kitted some. I took care of the puppy. Puttered around the house.
Caitlin and Danny spent the day with my X and his family. Even though I finished “The Things They Carried,” I really didn’t feel that I accomplished much. In the afternoon, I went to the Butcher Shop to get stuff for dinner. It’s a little Mom & Pop kind of store, so they recognize you. I got my usual smile and “How have you been doing?” And I responded with, “Better than ever. My daughter is home from college.” My voice caught in the last sentence when I realized that although she was here with me, that this is not her home anymore. It’s not much of a surprise to me that Caitlin is going to apply for her dual citizenship. In fact, I have encouraged her to do so. When Caitlin and Danny talked about the plan, I was happy. My father has always used Great Power to keep our family close to him. It has always been hard for him to realize that you have your “first” family life, and then your Real Life. I wonder what is the most costly as a parent, scrambling to control everyone to stay by you, or watching your child as they go. Here I am at 47, living in the same home for 25 years, working for the same employer for 12 ½ years, staying here because my family wants it so.
I decided a long time ago that it would be the best thing for my kids to let them go. Let them make their own lives. And so, here, my daughter has done just that. She has carved her own separate life. And I am a section of her life. I am so proud. Proud that she is herself. And I guess that I'm proud of myself. For letting go.

Puppy Disaster

And here I was going to brag about how Nell was good until 6:15 this morning. I guess when I put her back to bed after I took her out at 5:15 or so, I didn't latch the door to the kennel all the way. Consequently, Nell was unsupervised that entire time in my office. I've cleaned up two poops and a piddle. I did a quick survey for greater damage. She had pulled the headset to my phone out, but it does not appear that it has been chewed. Part of the Ribbi Cardi had fallen on the floor, but it, too, was not chewed. The office was the one room that I did not really clean, so now I'll have to go through it with a fine tooth comb. I just hope she didn't chew up computer wires.

The dinner was a success. Lots of food, fun, and family.

Dinner for 12

Tonight, I am hosting dinner for the entire clan. It will be for 12 people, if John shows up. I'm not sure if 12 people can fit at my table! I'm making Pasta with Vodka Sauce, Pasta with Pesto, sliced tomatoes with basil, lemon juice and olive oil, and a bean salad made with green beans, yellow wax beans, edamame, cherry tomatoes, and herbs. Fresh Pineapple Upside Down Cake for desert. My mom is bringing her red cabbage slaw too. So, I'll be spending some time today in the kitchen and at the grocery store.
Yesterday, Caitlin shared some of the protein smoothie she and Danny have each morning with me. It is made with Greens+, brown rice protein powder, ground flax seed, a bit of fruit, a splash of water, and a couple handfuls of greens. It was yummy. I'm going to get the powders to make my own.
I'm hoping to finish the Fuzzy Feet slippers I started for Danny. It will be fun to see her reaction when they are felted and molded to fit her feet exactly. They are bright orange.
I fell asleep on the couch again last night. And here I am up before the puppy.
Well, I'm off to start on the pesto.

Walk with me Wednesday

Here are the things I see when I take Daisy The Beagle on a walk on our typical route.

I like to look at the houses and the cute gardens.

We end up walking by the grade school. It's a SUV convention.

Yesterday, I went to my LYS and they had Noro Kureyon. I'm very pleased about that. Maybe I will get to make the Lizard Ridge Afghan after all. Danny arrived in the evening. I made crab cakes, a green salad with cucumber dressing, and sliced tomatoes with basil and vinaigrette.

Tonight we will have a big Greek salad and stuffed peppers.

Sunday Puttering

Yesterday, I avoided housework and cooking. Maybe I should reserve every Sunday for fiber filled fun. We went out for lunch at an Indian buffet.

I got all the fringe attached to Nikko and the bugle bead edging done. Now it's just a matter of adding beads and embellishments to the fringe. I had help, too.

I brought Nell to my parents' house for Sunday dinner. We had dinner on the deck. There were Citronella candles burning and I had to make a mad dash to keep Nell from falling off the deck. I was careless about where I set my needles down. Subsequently, the tip of one of my bamboo needles got burned off. Bummer.

The Beagle has started playing with Nell more. She was glad to see her when I came home after dinner.

Stoopid

I totally botched the bread recipe from Beard on Bread. It called for a total of 9 cups of flour and indicated that it would make two large loaves. It was about all the dough my Kitchen Aid could handle. I decided to divide it into three loaves so I could give two away. I have two metal loaf pans and two loaf pans that are made from that new non-stick plastic similar to Silpat. The non-stick pans are soft sided instead of hard. So, I think my bread falling has to do with the dang pan. Anyway, the loaf that was in the plastic pan fell while I was getting it in the oven. I was so mad at myself that I forgot to lower the oven temp and proceeded to ruin all of the loaves. That's five loaves in two days. Maybe I'd better stick with fiber.
Tate and Caitlin stopped by yesterday. Man, it was good to see Caitlin. She looks great. She has picked up some "Canada-isms" and she ends her sentences on an up note, like the Canadians do. Kind of like ending each sentence with a question mark. She's so happy and you can tell that by the way she looks. I asked her what she thought of my undyed hair and she replied with, "It takes some getting used to." I would interpret that as a thumbs down. But then, the kids kind of want me to stay the same.
I showed them all of the projects on my needles (except the secret project because Tate will be the recipient) and Tate loved the crochet blanket. I was surprised by this. I was thinking that it was sort of tacky because it's made with acrylic yarns. But she loved the colors etc. She also likes the Nikko Wrap. I'm going to have to bite the bullet and add more beading.
We made pizzas last night. Mine was a tomato, basil and cheese pizza and Sam's was a sausage, pepper and onion pizza. I crashed on the couch at 7:30 and moved to bed around 1. So, Sam put Nell to bed last night. Nell was up at 3:30 but I put her back to bed after going out. She slept until 5:30 when Sam took over, so I slept until around 7 today. Man, I was tired. I feel so much better today.
The Things They Carried is about the Vietnam War, and at times I find myself thinking about the book. Now that we have two dogs, the back yard is getting a bit tricky to navigate what with the land mines. I've dubbed it Saigon.
I think I'll stay out of the kitchen today and concentrate on knitting. At least my knitting won't collapse and burn.

A couple of flops

Wide awake at 5 a.m. again. I went to bed about 9:15 last night after I put Nell down. She slept until 4:55. Sam gets up incredibly early and offered to take care of her so I could sleep in. But, no go.
The Multi Grain Struan was a flop. It didn't rise well in the first place and then I was careless when putting the loaf pan in the oven, which caused what little rise I had to fall. So, I baked a Multi Grain Brick. Sam was sweet and sliced a piece and said it still tasted good. So, into the trash it went. Too bad you can't frog a loaf of bread and salvage something. I'll still try to make it again in the future. The picture looks wonderful.
I had trouble concentrating yesterday. I was waiting to hear from Caitlin. I guess she was one of the few that received a cot to sleep on at O'Hare Airport. Her 8 a.m. flight was canceled too. She made the 10:30 flight and arrived at KCI about an hour later. Since she didn't have a cell phone I had to wait for her to call me until 12:30 or so. So, most of the morning I was distracted and puttered around the house.
I decided to make Chicken Enchiladas and Guacamole for dinner last night. I was inspired to make my own corn tortillas like Barbara does over at Tigers & Strawberries. So, I took off for a Latin American grocery store not too far from here for Masa and a tortilla press. What a huge surprise! It had been some time since I had been there and the whole store has been remodeled. Plus, the front of the store was a Farmer's Market loaded with local produce. I've never seen so much produce in a grocery store. They even had hatch chilies for a fraction of the cost of what they sell them at Whole Foods. They had tons of chilies, every kind of fresh Mexican produce, greens, eggplants, etc. It was wonderful. And they are all labeled with the local farm from which they came. I'm switching grocery stores!
Sam and I were eager to make the fresh tortillas. But, they were only about four inches in diameter. Certainly not big enough to use for enchiladas. Since everything I've made from Barbara's recipes have been a huge success, the error must have been on my part. I think it's probably the cheapo tortilla press. I've sent Barbara an email, and maybe she'll respond with some advice. The tortillas tasted good, but a little thick in my opinion. So after making a few tortillas, that dough was trashed as well.
Today, I am making a bread recipe from Beard on Bread. It calls for rye, whole wheat, and all purpose flours, plus soaked whole wheat berries. It makes two large loaves of bread, so I'll finally have some extra to give away to my friends that I've promised to give any bread overflow.
Nell is coming dangerously close to discovering the cat door to the basement. She's small enough to fit through, too. On the other side of the cat door are the stairs to the basement, which poses a huge danger, considering that it takes her about three attempts to make it up the one step from the patio to the sliding patio door. It wasn't much of a consideration before because she never went too far and seemed to be afraid of the slickness of the Pergo flooring in the kitchen. But, now she's all over the place and seems to find the one thing she should not. Just like a regular baby. I think I'll head over to Target today and get a baby gate.
All Hell is going to break loose over here when she gets big enough to get off the big chair or the couch. At this point, we can put her on the couch or chair with some toys and she'll settle down for a nap. When she wakes up, she whimpers to get down. Once she is big enough to get down, we'll have to come up with something new. Any thoughts?